some stuff

I'm avoiding my housework today. My sister in law volunteered my house for a playdate between my sons and her neice on her husbands side. They are nice people but I have a headcold, and my house is trashed. I have fully medicated myself and feel better than sludge, but really dont want to clean-its ok though, i have about 2 hours left. I'm most effective when I'm running behind!

I ditched my dentist yesteday. I have been going to this practice since I lived at home with my parents. For years now I have been getting nothing but attitude from them. I thought it was me, but when I talked to my husband he said the same thing. We both have appts with a new dentist that came highly referred. Someone else can bill my dental coverage, why did I wait so long to switch?

Ben is talking! One word here or there, but they are real words. We are very excited, so much better than whine and point-which is his primary form of communication.

Will is 4 in about 3 weeks. We have seen so much more maturity from him lately. He is playing with Ben so nicely and trying to take care of him more.
-Yeah as I typed that I looked up to watch him slap Ben on the head. Which brings me to my next point, we have been having A LOT of time outs. You know the half hour long, when you settle down you can get up variety? fun, fun.

Will this week has started to refuse naps-oh he will go to bed, but then he just fools around for a while and comes back down. So he is also super cranky, thus more time outs. Can't make him sleep, I can put him back to bed over and over, but I can't make him close his eyes and sleep. No matter how badly he needs it. so yesterday was day 5 of no nap-He said he was tired just now, I tucked him into my bed, we shall see what happens.

Due to 5 days in a row of no nap-and my having to work tomorrow, and him being extra cranky-i kept him home from preschool today, I do feel a little guilty about it, but I think it is in his best interests to have a quiet day today so maybe he will behave better for my mom tomorrow. The last time went badly.

yesterday we had a long time out cause he would not help me clean up the toys-he never has helped me, but again-almost 4. His trick is to refuse to help, which buys him a time out, and then he tantrums. In the meantime I've done all the cleaning. I'm so on to him. So yesterday I left the mess, and informed him he was staying in time out until he was ready to help. It worked. and he did a good job. But at one point when he was by himself I heard him mutter to himself in a cranky voice "Fider fighters don't pick up their toys, and I'm a fider fighter." I was trying so hard not to laugh out loud-that is a classic William moment!

That is about it for now!

you're not really a parent until...

This morning I was battling my one year old, he ran into the 3x3 bathroom (i'm so no kidding it is that small) after me- wanting to brush his teeth. As I informed him that it was time to leave the bathroom (read-picked him up and moved him) he got mad and started howling, As I carried his heavy little butt out of the bathroom I remembered a story about a toothbrush, something his brother did about his age, which got me thinking about all the crazy things kids do that really make you a parent.

Oh sure, there are the obvious ones, getting up every two hours, having an infant just plain not go to sleep, trying to figure out breastfeeding, dealing with sick kids. But as a mom of an almost 4 year old(can someone please explain how that happened) and a one year old, I have learned there is more to it than that. That is the stuff I expected to happen. It's the stuff I never saw coming that makes for the best stories!

I set out every day with the intentions to be a good mom. I love my kids and I want them to be safe. My mom has a little plaque hanging on her wall, she has had it since I was kid, and I hated it then. Now it is extremely funny. It says "I could be a perfect parent if it weren't for my kids."

So here is my list of things that only happens to you if you have children:

1) You walk into the bathroom to find your child standing on a stool, using your toothbrush-not on his teeth however-to vigourously scrub out those little drain holes in the sink!

2) Your son pees on your bed-twice in about two hours. The first time was an accident, but apparently he liked your reaction. So he climbs back up and pees on it again, after you had already stripped it. In the phone call to your mom that follows to ask how to get urine out of a pillow top mattress, she says-"Alison, why didn't you have a mattress cover on it" to which the only answer you can come up with is-"I did-the first time he peed on it!"

3) During the let him walk around naked so he will learn to use the potty "trial" period, he poops on the floor, then finger paints with it all over the kitchen cupboards and the china hutch.

4) The applebee's trip http://ali-rnmom.blogspot.com/2008/08/im-not-supposed-to-actually-kill-him.html

5) The time I woke up in my bed wondering what was different, to slowly come to realize that I was soaked with urine, and in a place where I could not have possibly soaked myself.

6) The other time I woke up soaked-but at least I knew what had happened that time.

7) The time I went upstairs to find the entire bathroom covered in shaving cream. I'm not exagerating-he actually stood on the toilet tank and covered the wall about four feet up, the entire toilet, sink, floor, toilet paper holder, towel bar. It was a sight to behold-unfortunately I did not get a picture, I was too busy cleaning it up before his father saw it-it had been a rough afternoon and I was worried for his life. (No my husband would not have killed him-but let me just tell you, that day was bad-and that would just have been icing on the cake!)

8) The playground trip http://ali-rnmom.blogspot.com/2008/10/and-just-when-i-thought-nothing-would.html

9) The time I opened my cupboard under the sink to find my toothbrush nestled right up to the garbage can.

10) When me and another parent were silly enough to comment out loud, that it was nice the kids were big enough now to go upstairs and play, to find they had gotten into the bath crayons and colored all over the upstairs hallway, drawn 12 inch lines all the way down the stairs about a foot apart, and after we got over that surprise, realized his daughter was soaked. Upon further questioning, they got into the sink, and then climbed on top of it to get to cupboard where I kept the bath crayons so he would not get into them.

11) The time I came home from work to find a video my husband and neighbor had taken of my one year old child (my only child at the time) climbing the ladder himself unsteadily, and then going head first down the 10 ft slide in our backyard.

12) Your three year old son picking a new tampon out of your purse and saying "mom, I don't know what this is!"

13) When my one year old escaped out of the preschool room during a party for my older sons class, and a kind woman who happened to know he was mine brought him back. In my defense my mom had just walked out that door, and I thought she had taken Ben with her, but I had just figured out he was missing when he was brought back in.

14) The time I was in a very small consignment shop with Ben and I put him down at my feet so I could look at a high rack. I gave him my purse to empty and he was very happy, until I looked down and found he wasn't at my feet. In a very short period of time he had crawled about 10 feet, unfortunately it was out the propped open door of the shop and he was sitting on the sidewalk. There is a reason we have given this child the nickname ES-CA-PE! (say it like Dory does in Finding Nemo)

15) what about you? Have any good ones?

I'm just not ready to give this up yet....

I'm having a hard time finding a balance between all things that demand my attention. It seems that when my real life gets real-when my kids are good and sick, over and over again, when big scary things happen in my family my writing just dries up. I actually find it to be something interesting about myself I never really knew or thought about. Apparently I go inward. Some of it is just too personal to write, or I cant write what others confide in me, at lately there has been a whole bunch of confiding.

But what it comes back to really, is I like my blog. I always have liked my blog, even if I have probably killed whatever readership I had by the massive break I have been on, I don't want to stop blogging. I have also been reading other blogs but just stopped commenting.

I'm going to work on having a blog-and having something worth reading up here-and tending to my life, because after all-I think this is fun, I like the outlet, I like making friends. All too often I give up on the things I like to make room for other things, and how much time does it take to write a blog post? Well, that depends on the blog post-these stream of conciousness ones are pretty easy...

So I guess I'm feeling kind of "cheaty monkey" (http://cheatymonkey.com/), I want it all and I want some balance. I want to be productive at home, I want to save money using coupons, I want to take care of my kids, I want to still be me. Have mothers always felt like this? Or did they just give up everything that made them who they are-and do "good mom" until their kids are gone?

I don't know, but my blog is part of me, so I'll keep at it. I'm hoping someone is out there reading along, but if not, it's still my place to be me. That is a good thing.