Thursday, July 31, 2008

more sick kids

You wake up because you hear the baby crying. Hubby walks in and says "Do you want me to bring him in here?" You tell him yes because you feel like you have been hit by a truck. He brings the baby in and you ask "where is will?" You ask because Will never sleeps this late, and sure enough he is up, playing in his room. You take it as a good sign that he is up playing must be feeling better. The baby is happy, crawling all over the bed, he must be feeling better too.

As much as you would like to stay in bed a while longer you have to get up because hubby is leaving for work, and the baby can't be trusted to not throw himself off the side of the bed. So you gather the troops and head downstairs to the promise of freshly brewed coffee waiting for you in the pot.

You come downstairs, change the baby's diaper, get him a bottle, put on PBS for the older boy, get him a sippy cup of milk, pour your coffee, sit down to the laptop, and the whining begins.
Ben is tired, Will's mouth hurts and you can just tell he is sick of being sick. doesn't want to watch tv, but doesn't feel well enough to be up and playing.

You take a minute to go get dressed because must have bra on, can't stand floppy boobies. Decide there is no point putting real clothes on and pick things that don't match but are comfortable knowing full well by the end of this day you will be covered in copious amounts of baby drool, medicine that doesn't make it into the kids, formula, and food the oldest boy spits out cause it hurts his mouth.

Every five minutes the older one shrieks cause his mouth or throat hurt, the baby crawls around looking exhausted and crying.

It's 8am, gonna be a long day.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

sick kids and butterflys

Alright bear with me, I'm going to try to write a post that doesn't suck, but I am in the house of sick children, drinking multiple cups of coffee.

I twittered yesterday that my kids had hand foot and mouth, FYI hand foot and mouth is a virus, (you get blisters on your hands feet and in your mouthand a fever) just give tylenol to make them more comfortable and ride it out. Here is a link

I heard yesterday that my nephew had been diagnosed with strep they all spent the day together on friday, so I took them to the pede just be sure, and I was half right, they have strep and hand foot and mouth. It has been rough around here. Noone wants to eat anything or swallow.

On to a better post, before everyone was sick we took the kids to the zoo on Saturday. we saw a butterfly exhibit that was just amazing and I took a few pictures.

We really enjoyed this, it was quiet and serene.

Then a butterfly landed on our double stroller and Ben tried to kill it. Well really he was reaching for a binky on the next seat, but it was a close one.

did you see it? Look under Ben's elbow. Dave was trying to get a shot of the butterfly and Ben reached over for the binky.
Don't worry Dave rescued it from a slobbery death. Then it didn't want to get off of his hand, he had to go ask the attendant for help.

No zoo trip is complete without a stop to see the elephants getting a bath!

We also attended a 40th birthday party saturday night with the kids, started taking the bathroom apart (stripping wallpaper so we can paint) and had friends over with their three year old on sunday. It was a busy weekend and I've had plenty of phone calls to make to warn people their kid might get sick. Good times.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Ali-Rn, super nurse.

Today kicked my ass. I had a group of patients who just needed a lot of care. A guy on a long-term vent, with a g-tube. Another guy who may loose his foot. A lady with a life threatening blood clot, a sick little old lady, and a man with disabilities and a gi bleed. It was a busy day that included four dressing changes, four people on blood sugars every few hours, a vent to moniter, multiple line draws.

On top of that I was charge nurse for 12 hours, and orienting a new nurse for eight hours. Either my boss has faith in me, or he put no thought into it at all, and it's just how it landed.

I stood for about 13 hours straight today, running up and down a hallway. by the time i left my legs from the knees down ached, and my feet where on fire, even in super comfy crocs.

when I got home I of course grabbed my laptop and sat on the couch with my swollen legs up. I always know how hard I really worked, when I try to get up, and start doing a weird stumble thing, cause the legs just don't work.

there is no job like nursing.

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Does 'always on' mean 'always seperate'?

Catherine of Her Bad Mother wrote a post today describing her experience at BlogHer this year. You can read it here:

I read this and felt my heart rip out of my chest. This post hit me on so many levels.

I know that feeling of being the mom, of being "on". Ever since I had my second child last september I'm always on. Before Ben, when it was just Will, if we got an invitation to a party, or a get together it sounded fun, it was something to look forward too. One child is so much more managable especially with two parents. Now if we get invited anywhere my thoughts are never about how much fun it will be. My thoughts are how much work it will be, making sure the kids are clean, nails cut, cute clean clothes, all the things I need to pack, extra clothes, sunscreen, hats, pj's, bottles, food, double stroller. By the time you get there your already tired,
a little bit grumpy. Then you have to constantly scan the crowd, who is holding the baby? Is he still happy? Has he eat/slept lately? Where did the three year old go? Is he near the water? Does he need to pee? Its getting near nap time should we go?
Ok its time to eat, what can I cut up for will? Come on hon just have a bite....

It's not something I can turn off if my children are near me, and they are young enough that I feel they need me nearby. This is one of the major reasons I haven't attended BlogHer, I've watched two conferences go by from the sidelines and just wished I could go. I could be brave like Catherine and take the baby but just the idea of trying to keep a busy crawling 10 month old entertained, fed and napped is scary. Never mind messing up the oh-so-fragile routine we have going. Leaving them this young is something I feel to guilty to do, and my husband is not exactly begging me to leave him with two little people for an entire weekend and spend the money we work hard to make on something other than our kids or our house or a vacation together.

Being a mother is what makes blogging vital to me. Every morning I get up too early, bring the kids downstairs, get one a chocolate milk, change the others diaper, get him a bottle, make myself a coffee. Once they are settled I log onto my laptop, I read posts, I check twitter. I need to know that there are still interesting things going on in the world. I need to feel like I am a part of the world, because once I was just me, with thoughts and desires and interests. Blogging preserves that part of me that just gets pushed further and further aside to tend to the now. The needs of children, the requirement to have clean clothes, and dishes, and meals made. On the internet I am the me I always was, just made wiser and more accepting because I am a mother, and more able to recognize what other mothers and woman are going through.

I will go to blogHer someday, I hope it is next year. I love blogging and the woman like Catherine that I read everyday. They don't know me, I'm not famous, but I get it, I'm a woman, I'm a mom...I'm a blogger.

if you need another laugh....

My husband usually comes in about 4:30-5pm on wednesdays, and then we throw the kids in the car and go eat dinner with my in-laws. He also usually calls to tell me he is on his way home. So when it got to be 5pm yesterday and he was a no call no show I called him. He was really busy at work and had lost track of time told me to take the kids to his parents and he would meet me there.

Did I mention my kids have been really high needs this week? Like driving me bonkers high needs? well yeah they have been. So I was annoyed he didn't bother to call and warn me I was going on my own, (I've done it a million times before, but yesterday it annoyed me)

I'm trying to get the kids ready and diaper bag packed, Will refuses to come to me to put his shoes on, I tell him to come now, he runs around the corner and yells back at me "you no say that to me!" (toldya he's fresh) but he did it right behind his baby brother and scares the shit out of him. Ben jumps and starts wailing. It was a mess. I finally have both kids ready, put on my backpack diaper bag, pick up Ben, put my purse on my other arm and escort everyone out the front door.

yeah it's never that easy is it?

somehow a little bungy chord thing on the diaper bag got caught in the screen door. I was able to walk about 4 feet away before I realized I was stuck. I feel the pull, turn around and see the stretch black chord stretched as far as it can go. I'm already annoyed and my hands are full. so i do what every sane person does, I start having a tug of war with the door by pulling away from it, that gets me nowhere.
So instead of just walking back to door I start doing this wild up and down side to side dance with the chord still stretched and the door opening and closing as I pull. If anyone had got that on video.....anyway I'm sure I looked like an idiot and of course I did have to just put my purse down, walk backwards to the door and free myself. As I walked to the car though I had a nice bungy chord tail dragging behind me...good times!

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

if you need a laugh...

you know those days when nothing you do makes your baby happy? You know how they cry all day, and you keep walking back to them saying "what?" "what do you need me to do?"
And then their big brother walks up.....

and then he walks away and it starts again...

Monday, July 21, 2008

fundraising, and fevers

ok second attempt at a blog post today....

I can't believe a week went by since my last post, but that's just how busy things have been around here....

On friday morning I ran around collecting donations for our raffle and dropping off the letters from the foundation (thank you lowes, bj's and chuck-e-cheese) I packed everything we would need and we took the camper and headed to a neighboring state to help my brother and sister-in-law with the third annual wiffleball tournament/family fun day to raise money for cystic fibrosis. I have mentioned before that my nephew has cystic fibrosis.

meet my nephew Weston

I wrote about it here when he was a year old!38C225B23145C601!386.entry?_c11_blogpart_blogpart=blogview&_c=blogpart#permalink. He is now 2 1/2, and doing very well, but the first 18 months of his life were touch and go. My sister in law has put all of her energy ( you know the energy she has left after parenting a 5 yr old girl and 2 1/2 year old boy who needs meds, chest pt and careful monitering of his diet due to allergies as well as his illness., working part time as a social worker and running a household) into fundraising because every dollar we raise is a step closer, allows the researchers to keep on working. She even started a webpage this year which you can check out here:

It looks like she hasn't posted this years pics yet but the great strides walk from this year is up as well as last years tournament. There is also a link on that page if you feel you would like to donate.

So we helped set up a large field, got the kids to sleep and started all over the next day. We didn't raise as much money as previous years, but we didn't get corporate sponcership we had recieved previous years, the weather was working against us ( it was extremely hot and so muggy we were sweating standing still), and we changed the venue, which may have confused people.

We did raise 2555.00, which hey-science is expensive and that is money they didn't have before right?

As the day went on Saturday I was feeling worse and worse which I attributed to the heat, I'm not a do well in extreme temps kind of girl. By the time we were packing up to head home though I had fever, chills, nausea, headache, sore throat. I had to drive the 45 minutes home with the kids, and let me tell you I've never had a such a hard time staying awake.

My loving husband did everything for the kids all day yesterday and kept sending me back to bed. Today is much better, still sick but functioning. So that in a nutshell is what has been keeping us busy...ok back to the couch for me!

Tuesday, July 15, 2008


I love to go the ymca. I love meeting with my trainer and spending a whole hour child free. I love to do something just for me. I love that Will gets the chance to play in a new environment with other kids that he now looks forward to seeing. I love that everyone now knows us.

That doesn't mean it's easy getting there. On a good day I start getting ready at 8am, dress the kids, dress myself, pack the bags, feed the baby, change diapers and redress as needed, make the big one go potty, get everyone into the car, arrive for 9am, walk the kids to the nursery, sign them in and then I can go do my thing for an hour because Ben is still a baby and time is determined by age of the kid.

So it's an effort. Just like anything in this world that is worth it. An effort that I have been willing to make when it just effected me.

I've been feeling torn lately because I am a big fan of kids being on a routine (a flexible one) and sleeping when they need to sleep. I'm not judging how other parents need to do things, I just know my kids are happier and my day goes much more smoothly if I stick to nap times and don't run them around too much.

Until now there was no issue, Will takes one nap in the early afternoon, and Ben was an infant, and slept whenever. Now, however Ben wants a two hour nap in the morning and another nap in the afternoon, while Will wants a nap mid-day. It makes it difficult to find a good block of time to be out of the house, and makes me feel incredibly guilty to not let the baby sleep when he needs too. 2 days a week we are at the y when Ben should be sleeping, 2 days a week I work and the schedule is pretty much out the window, and it being summer on weekends there are projects to get done, fundraisers to throw, and family events to attend.

I've seen progress with the work I have done, more shapely waist, more shapely calves, my thighs not spilling over my knees, changes I don't want to lose. Today I had a conversation with my trainer about the timing issue, how I don't want to stop coming, how I don't want to lose what I have accomplished. We are going to try a new later morning time when hopefully Ben will already have napped and before Will naps. We also went over a half hour workout I can do at home with some hand weights and a ball (things I already have) and she wrote it all down for me.

I'm feeling so much better that we have what looks like a workable solution, I thought I was going to have to quit. Now I just need to have the discipline to stick to it!

Speaking of discipline.....a little story
When Will is getting into trouble I start counting in a stern voice, if I get to three and he hasn't corrected his behavior he goes directly to time out. We are working on freshness, talking back, and not listening. When we pulled into the Y parking lot a trainer had a group doing drills in the parking lot. I noticed but wasn't paying much attention. Will watched for a moment and heard the trainer counting as they did their repetitions. He turned to me and said, "who is being fresh mom?"

Monday, July 14, 2008

A new look for my blog!

Ok so I don't actually know what I'm doing, I figured out paint today, and I know my banner is a little fuzzy. (Anyone know how to fix that?) But I think it looks great!

I was inspired by one of Bens outfits that is all blue with cream and brown accents, I think the colors are pretty close. If I wasn't already so tired I would post a pic of it, maybe tomorrow.
ok must go to bed!

Saturday, July 12, 2008

An amazing birthday!

I met real live bloggers! On my birthday! My husband and I have been planning a "mommy-daddy" trip for a while. The last time we went away just us was two years ago when we only had one kid.

Ahhh, only one kid, I remember that.....Anyway!

So who did I meet? Two wonderful woman!

Analis and Kelly

Lisa from Analis first amendment

This lovely lady has a food blog, and when I checked it out I learned she is also an attorney!
She helped my husband and I find our way to the T, she was sweet and friendly and I am now a fan of her blog! I even stole a recipe already, Dairy free/Vegan ice cream anyone?

I also met Kelly of Mocha Momma! So excited to meet her!

Kelly and I
On the ride to the hotel we met at all I could think was, "Ok Alison, compose yourself, don't act like preteen meeting a celebrity, you're a grown up, act normal!"
She was so pretty, with amazing blue eyes, and a huge smile. She introduced me to a new drink


Posing with the sun in our faces!

It would have been nice to have had a little more time to talk before we all needed to go our separate ways, but I so enjoyed meeting these amazing people. I was more excited about meeting real bloggers than going to see Bon Jovi! Bloggers Rock!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

gun control and my three year old

So what would you say to this boy:

if he handed you this toy:

( A geotrax bridge support for his train set)

and asked you to turn it into this:
I asked him why he wanted me to do it, and he said in his most big boy three year old voice

"to get those bad guys!" he then said "go like this" and held his arm up as if holding a gun and waved it at the living room ceiling.

My son doesn't know the word gun, it's not really a word that comes up much in our little world, and the one or two times it has we spell it, because I don't think it's a word he needs to know. He doesn't own any toy guns, not even squirt guns.

My son doesn't know what a gun does. He doesn't really even understand the concept of hurting another person beyond playgroup roughness, or how he needs to be gentle with his baby brother. I know he doesn't understand the concept of death. He only watches children's tv (pbs, disney), we don't even watch the news with him around, and he hates movies, and has absolutely not seen one that would tell him how a gun is used.

I have no idea where he got the idea to make a gun out of train track support, maybe the ymca, maybe his older cousins. I know he doesn't understand it.

I pulled off one leg for him and handed it back, why? Because I felt his limited idea of what he wanted to do with it was far less damaging than me making a big deal out of something he doesn't understand and calling his attention to it.

As soon as I handed it to him a little girl was at our front door to play for the morning. He no sooner had it in his hand then he tossed it on the couch and ran to go play with his friend.

So what would you have done?