Thursday, November 19, 2009
Maybe now that it is November I should take the beach things out of my car?
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Later she came to our table and sat with us, we talked for a little bit. I remember being amazed by her warmth, her ability to make a person feel so comfortable so easily. I remember being surprised by how much I liked her and how quickly.
Anissa has a heck of a road ahead of her, but she has dealt with a lot in her lifetime. She is a strong woman, and I believe that there is power in positive thoughts. I have been thinking of her non-stop since I saw the tweets pour in yesterday. I wish her family well, and I will be donating as these kinds of illness's take a toll on a family emotionally and financially, I urge everyone to do the same.
Go here for to get info, leave a comment, or donate or send gifts.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
- NEIL PATRICK HARRIS joined twitter yesterday, I love him and would like to marry him-I know he's gay, and shut up cause in my head he is not..and I'm not a married mother of two..but I digress.
- I don't think anyone in blog land fully understands my love of Dr Horrible. My friends do because I keep making them watch it when they come here.
- Can someone please explain to my why boys MUST spit/throw food? I have no idea what I will do when our old golden is not here-I call her my quicker picker upper, as in quicker than me.
- Does anyone else think it's funny that my 2 year old can say "no time out" clear as a bell? Two is the age of rules around here, but this child will be the death of me, he flat out does not care what I think.
- My son skinned his knee at 8am this morning, its 5pm and he is still limping around. He accidently hit his knee with his hand about an hour ago and he said, "or hitting your own knee which is already damaged" is this kid really four?
- It appears to me my kids are having dry kix for dinner, since they helped themselves when I sat down to write this and are both on their second bowls. AIMING LOW!
- This is me trying to tell my son a knock-knock joke today-at his request,
HIM knock knock
ME no-you say whose there?
HIM whose there
HIM whose there,
ME-no you say banana who?
HIM banana who, mom-you need to stop saying banana, say something about the banana-like banana slipped on a banana peel or something...
Apparently I can't even tell a joke right in this house, and my four year old must give me pointers!
Monday, November 16, 2009
Well I had no reason to stress!! Leave it to my four year old and his talent for embarrassing me! If you need a refresher check out the applebees trip , or the time we went to playground.
Today I picked him up from preschool I arrived a few minutes early and was waiting in the lobby. Will's teacher walked him by me to bring him to the bathroom. He said "Hi mom! I drew you a picture!" His teacher quickly interjected "Yes, he drew daddy making big muscles!" I laughed because Will is always talking about how strong his daddy is. He told me on the way back to the classroom he drew me and I am purple. I thought nothing of this.
I walked him out to the car and while I was waiting for him to put his straps on I looked at the stack of artwork I had been handed. Then I found this:
This is a picture of me and Will taking a nap together-which we did yesterday. Notice anything ummm distractingly large?
My heart stopped for a second while my brain digested what I was looking at.
I feel the need to clarify that I ALWAYS SLEEP WITH CLOTHES ON, also how thrilled I am to pay the amount of a car payment for this special kind of embarrassment. The picture of daddy by the way, had a nice little description on the bottom written by the teacher.
Awesome, I don't think I think I can show my face at that preschool...
Sunday, November 15, 2009
I need something. No, I can't elaborate as to what that might be, because I don't know..right this very second though I just want out. I need to clarify that. I am delighted to have what I have in life. A healthy family, a home, a job I'm good at.
My husband sometimes has these stretches at work that just require him to work everyday-according to him. I think that sometimes it is ok to say, listen I'm working 6 days a week, this one day I need to spend with my family. He says it about deadlines, and getting things done. I understand that. I'm ok with that, for a week or two. When it rolls into three and four weeks, as it is right now, I feel squeezed...I take care of the boys and house, I go to work, lather rinse repeat. I cannot count on my husband coming in to help at any particular time, I have no idea when to have supper ready. I can't just hold on until the weekends, as this very weekend was the long awaited weekend off. Except he still wasnt home. Had a peice of a side job he had to do yesterday, which ate up the entire afternoon to evening. Had to help his dad today which ate up the entire day 8-4. I do not object to him helping his family, they have helped us in more ways than I can count. I just sometimes wish the priority was to be with us, and not just to earn for us.
I don't want to give him a hard time, anyone who works 7 days a week is bound to be tired-and he is, but I can only suck it up for so long, and then top this week off with sick babies, and for some reason my kids are clinging to me, as in want to be touching me at all times lately-if I sit on the couch, two kids on my lap, if I go to bed, two kids want in bed with me, if I shower two kids at the door, If I go to the bathroom, two kids in the 3 ft x 3 ft bathroom, if I cook two kids between me the stove and the island. I know they are just missing their dad, and clinging to me more, I want to be there for them, I'm glad I am there for them, but good god could I have a breath? Or maybe just back up? A time frame when he will go back to a normal schedule?
I start to just want an escape-not away from my family forever but like an afternoon... I really need some new clothes, and a haircut, and an eyebrow/lip wax.
..and then I think of everything people do for me already-my babysitters when I work are our parents, that I cannot ask for one more thing. The last time I was feeling like this, I found an escape in exercising, in putting my kids in the little kid room and having an hour a few times a week...but now Ben just will not be left, and I cannot torture him for no reason, also swine flu, not really willing to expose them to anything I don't have to.
I know this will pass, we have done this before, but inside I'm screaming, it feels like a long unending shriek, that only I can hear, I need something...
Saturday, November 14, 2009
At one point I looked over to see my 6ft 220 lb husband balancing himself on the edge of the bed, so I grabbed our oldest by one leg and one arm and pulled him back to the center of the bed, and said-DAVE! gain some ground! Ben is literally throwing himself around trying to get comfortable and I'm getting baby arms and legs in the face. I keep trying to move him back towards the center of the bed, he is digging his heels into my back. Then Ben decided he wanted to get to the other side of me, but I was on the edge of the bed, and kept catching him (and being scared awake) as he threw himself over my body, towards the floor. Finally Ben got annoyed and threw himself toward the end of the bed to get out of the tangle of arms and legs. I remember being so mad that I started throwing stuffed pigs(yes we have three) around my room trying to create space for everyone.
Finally Will fell asleep enough that I could move him back to his bed, put Ben back between us and sleep a little. I'm beyond tired and Dave tells me that he got up at three am and came down to the couch to try to sleep, but didn't. I think all the members of this family will be sleeping in their own beds tonight, now excuse me, I need a nap.
Friday, November 13, 2009
My oldest has been extra whiney and sleepy-I believe he is coming down with something, or fighting off something. Either way he is suddenly feeling extra needy and as soon as you get the baby-who IS sick off your lap, he jumps on looking for his cuddle time. What is super-fun though is when Ben is laying on me, and Will wants to cuddle too, and Ben starts wacking him on the head telling him to go away...apparently when you are two and sick you don't want to share your mama? We have a no hitting policy here, but am I supposed to put a sick baby in time out? I haven't, but the things you end up thinking about.
I should be receiving my new laptop keyboard any day now..not thrilled with the company we ordered from, as they are taking a lot of time to ship a part. Can't wait to have my laptop back.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
We folded and put away piles of laundry, pushed laundry through, decluttered, did dishes but as the day went on it became clear that Ben was not feeling well he woke up with a high temp from his nap.
After a trip to the md he probably has the flu and at the md's office had a temp of 104 with tylenol in him. He felt better after some motrin, and played a little before bed. We got him settled in our bed and I'm listening to my little boy and his daddy try to out snore each other. Tonight will be a long night of med dosing every three hours. Wish me luck.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Like when I rolled over in bed and found a little plastic key in my bed. That seemed pretty funny in the middle of the night.
Nothing kept me awake, I just was, luckily today is not a day I had to go anywhere, so I wasn't overly stressed about being awake, but now I'm in a head achy fog, just craving sleep. Forgive me if this isn't the most coherent post I have ever written.
I have been thinking, my sons are four and two. They have yet to receive their immunizations for the seasonal or swine flu. I have called my pede to get these things, but was told their names were on a list, and they would call me when they have it. I know that the smallest are hit the hardest, and working in a major hospital in our area, we see lots and lots of admissions to rule out swine flu. I know it's in the area and people are not able to be immunized, kids are slowly getting done now, I heard that inmates are getting immunized, but healthcare workers and sick people not so much.
So here is what I've been thinking about, if the swine flu does hit our area-(and based on how it's moving I have no reason to believe it won't) do I pull my son out of preschool? His preschool is in the YMCA. That is a whole lot of people going in and out of there, with nothing regulating how well they are, or aren't. Preschool is not required, it gives him a leg up, it gives me a break, he behaves better when he goes, but I'm not required to bring him.
My mom-one of my primary babysitters when I work, has an immune deficiency, so if my kids get sick-she does to. I don't want my children to be the reason my mom gets sick-and with a compromised immune system, that could get ugly.
Also the school district that the ymca is in has grouped all kids of the same age to certain schools by grade, so if one family is hit by swine flu, its going to be spread to several schools, as each child goes to a different school. We have lost some of the isolation of kids just going to a local school, an entire town would be effected.
What are you thinking? Will you pull your child out if it gets bad in your area?
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Today I got a reply back from Tena. Here is a screen shot of the comments section-yes, for you I googled how to get a picture of your screen and followed the handy-dandy directions.
See now I started thinking about how that might be taken as a joke-see the floor. I live in a 1200 square foot house, and its a colonial, so you know 600 up 600 down. We have high ceilings and have remodeled to an open floor plan, so it doesn't *Feel* so small, but still seriously lacking floor space. It takes my boys no more than an afternoon to trash this place-and while I do clean it about once a day-so I can see the floor, it often looks like this:
Why yes, I do hang the boys coats on the curtain tie backs in front of the coat closet, much better than say opening the closet to get them. Also-why is the vaccum out? That belongs in the coat closet-not in the middle of floor. Oh and yes-we have four ride on toys, for inside the house-I know I only have two kids, but I often have more over..it works, it just does.
Please to notice all the random crap under the coffee table...I pick that stuff up every day and it keeps coming back!
Now for this last shot I am standing in my kitchen and the weird whitish thing on the right is the start of my kitchen cupboards, so this mess just rolls right on into my kitchen. It's fun.
Monday, November 9, 2009
"will go sleep, dada go sleep...ben go sleep? NOOO! baba (his bottle) go sleep? NOOOO!"
When Will was a baby, he managed to get one color down-yellow-only he said yehyo. Soon after he decided that if a color was yehyo, than to color was to yehyo. For about a year when he wanted to color he asked to yehyo, and we loved it.
We are the kind of family that doesn't correct kids when they come up with their own expressions for things, because we figure-they will learn it sooner or later, enjoy it while it lasts.
Another Ben favorite of mine is when he wants me to go with him somewhere, he walks up to me and says "come-on-a-mommy-a" or "come-on-a-mama" everyone who hears this laughs and
says he's Italian? yup my little white redheaded half french part English, Portuguese, and Canadian french kid-big Italian accent!
Will used to tell us he had "gups in my mouf" when he had hiccups. And his first obsession? CAR-CAR! said just like that.
For the last two months Ben has been killing us with his mean face-it started when I was sitting next to him watching him arrange his facial features, furrow his brow, pout his lips, thinking very intently about what he was doing. I asked, are you making a mean face? Mean face was born. When he does it, his dad and I go "Ohhhhhhhhhh!! " In a growly voice. I managed to get a picture of it, and I joked with Dave 20 years from now we will see that picture and the two of us will growl-and our boys will think we are crazy. Want to see it?
Sunday, November 8, 2009
twitter-I love you..since my laptop has been broken I have spent far more time tweeting on my blackberry, and you have become the thing that gets me through the day-I'm not addicted, I can stop anytime I want. hey! those are the funniest people I know (or rather dont know at all) but I'm happy and entertained and that HAS to count for something. Right? Don't look at me like that. Oohhh wait, twitter, where are you going, baby..come back here. I need you. Just one tweet? A mention? You want me to make a list-I will not list-you can not make me..ok just one, for you..
blackberry-you have been elevated beyond laptop status-which is pretty damn high. You fall somewhere just below my children as you allow me to have my texts, and emails, and facebook, and twitter, with me where ever I go. I have to thank my friend shannon-who does not read my blog, for giving you to me...and changing my internet world.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Scene one-dawdle in report because I would rather be talking to my coworkers than dealing with what I just read in report.
Scene two-go deal with the angry patient and wife- neither speak english
Scene three-attempt to pass meds, get stopped by a doctor who wants to talk to me on the phone...but not tell me what he wants to talk about.
Scene four-attempt to pass meds find out a long term patient lost a tooth-as in spit it out whole, attempt to get ahold of doctor to request dental care, get blown off (will get blown off about four more times by same doctor about same issue over course of shift)
Scene five-put a man on a stretcher for a test-and he refuses to go, meanly. Tell doctor. Put a lady on a stretcher for a test. She goes, nicely. Try to go back to passing meds.
Scene six-Get stopped by formerly angry man who still doesn't speak english for a cardiac issue, do bedside testing, call md, call interpretor. moniter and attempt to medicate- just then get pulled away by an intern insisting I have to come now, even after I explain what I'm doing with the patient whose room I'm in.
Walk to a patients room (who can roll himself,) so I can roll him so two doctors can look at his back, so let me get this straight, you need me to stop taking care of a patient with a cardiac issue so the four foot, eleven and half inch nurse can roll a patient for you, cause two men are not strong enough to do this themselves....
cutting way ahead to scene 12
discharge an elderly woman who while I watch gives her husband the sweetest most in love look I have ever seen. He gives it right back. I ask how long they have been married and she tells me 60 years. I ask how they have been married that long and still look at each other like that.
He laughs and says they have driven each other crazy plenty of times, she chimes in that they just try to remember to take a step back and usually it isnt a big deal. I want their marriage. More specifically I want my marriage to look like theirs 50 years from now.
go check on a patient whose heart rate on the moniter has spiked.
He had walked to bathroom-with help, while waiting to help him back to bed, three doctors come running into the room, when I look at then like they are crazy they yell 230!!! That number is so high I start to puzzle about what the heck it means until I realize they mean heart rate! commence this guy could code on us at any time situation. In the end, he was fine. but that is a nifty little peice of knowledge we learned about him. For the record-highest heart rate I have ever seen in a patient.
find out I am not doing a double, a half hour till the end of shift. Almost dance out of the hospital Im so happy, that first 12 hours was enough!
Friday, November 6, 2009
I was prepared to drive to Boston myself, but invited my friend Kim to come with me. Kim is not part of the blogging world, so had no idea what I was dragging her to. I promised her a party and night out, and sweetened the deal by arranging to meet up with an old coworker we are both friends with after for a drink.
It was a d*mn good thing I brought her as I got lost and her phone had a gps, highlight of trip is when we see the huge lit up glowing sign in the skyline and yell " We CAN get there from here!!"
We arrived at the party, ate our weight in lobster ravioli, attempted to have a drink-but those babies where strong, and I'm not a drinker!! I mean-well, I drink, but I'm not really a strong drink girl. mudslide anyone? Then moved to another room with all sorts of fun machines lining the walls.
We got to see some amazingly cute video's of each of the Aiming Low woman explaining how they aim low. That was it, I had found my people...how did I not know about them for so long?!
Lots of socializing, cool swag literally all over the place, lots and lots of office supplies on tables, and my favorite thing-the usb drives in the swag bags. I had dragged my laptop to boston as I could not locate my one and only usb.
Sadly I did not get to play with the printers, because although I had brought my laptop, literally moments before I left the house I had been using it to get directions. My 2 year old climbed up on my island and sprayed it with windex. I mean a lot, it was dripping, right into the keyboard. Once I was ready to print pictures, my laptop was not. It is still broken, but fixable and it will only cost 30.00, until then blogging from my husbands laptop.
I loved the touch computer screens-they looked like televisons, but had amazing touch screens-to be honest I have no idea what I would need that for, or how to use it, but it was fun to play with. Also fell in love with the hp mini's. I so want one!
Some photo's to prove I was there!
the fancy room:
my girlfriend kim
Katie from motherbumper:
anissa from freeanissa-speaking!
We had an amazing time, and my friend Kim loved meeting all these people, and won a 250.00 gift certificate to staples!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
When you work in a hospital crazy things happen, things you could not have predicted when you walked into work that day, here are a few that stand out to me!
The time I had ants in patients room, many many ants and the nursing office refused to move the patient to a clean room next door to his as it was booked, and no place else to move him so hung up on me. Then wanted him to sit in the hallway for a few hours while they de-anted his room. (I sat him in the empty room to watch tv anyway)
The time a drunk woman was admitted but wanted to leave against medical advice. I was trying to keep her from disturbing other patients and keep her in room until md arrived to sign paperwork to let her leave. She was ranting in the hallway and said she was thirsty she wanted a drink. I offered her tea, coffee, gingerale, juice, milk or water. She sneered at me and said "I want a f*cking beer!!" To which I lost my patients and said. We don't have any fucking beer this is a hospital! (to this day I maintain hey-she went there first.)
The time a confused man was really really angry with me for remodeling his house without his permission, when I tried to reorient him I pointed out the city view out of the window. He was then really really angry I had not only remodeled, but moved his house as well.
The time a confused lady had me staring at the ceiling with her while she insisted there were dishes up there.
The time I watched a man slap my friend and coworker-a fellow nurse across the face, he was confused and when he had cleared up the next day he apologized to her. She was bent over his bed adjusting something and he knocked her glasses off her face. Listen I felt bad, and it was not appropriate, but how do you not laugh-at least once you are out of the room together.
The lady who insisted she was not a patient, she had come to visit a patient and now we were confused and keeping her, the argument that she was wearing a johnny, a hospital bracelet and sitting in a hospital bed, did not convince her.
and yesterday...when something that looked a whole lot like poop-although I was told by the plumber it was not, came up out of the drains of two sinks and splashed on the walls. In my job, you never really know what you are going to get!
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Ben has pushed a stool from the island up to the counter, and is shoving his little hand into the sugar bowl and sucking his fingers. When I take him off the stool he says "moa suga peese!" I tell him no more sugar, he gets more insistant, "MOA SUGA PEESE!!" repeat until Ben is in time out as he won't stop pushing the stool up to the counter.
I find Ben in the upstairs bathroom all drawers/doors in cabinet open, screwdrivers he got out of cabinet lined up sticking out of baseboard heater. The tub is blasting cold water and he has a little cup tub toy and is flinging water all over the floor.
Ben again-yup going for the sugar, but instead finds the clorox clean up I put on top of the counter in the corner to get it away from him. Sitting and spraying it all over his clothes and floor. yeah he ruined those clothes.
and yes..Ben again, this time I hear splashing from the downstairs bathroom. I find him using my toilet brush "cleaning" the toilet. I tell him he needs to get out of the bathroom he says "no thank you! and goes right back to splashing.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
When we fell in love there were no questions. This was just it. I could not possibly see my life without him in it. I still can't. We fit, in a way I can't explain. He is my rock. He always has my back. He loves me for me, and really isn't interested in me trying to look good, dress nice or wear makeup-which come to find out is a good thing, since I spend my days home with the kids with my hair in a ponytail most days.
You slowly add things like careers, mortgages, more people, car payments, bills, pets. Then those kids get older and need more things, like clothes every season, preschool, lord knows what comes after 4 1/2. Life becomes about the kids and what they need. Everything else gets pushed to the side, including spending any time together, both parties are tired and slowly get frustrated with their role.
Nothing bad happens, over time you just turn your attention away from each other.
Go to work, come home, eat dinner put kids to bed, fall asleep right after they do-for him. For me up all day with the boys, run them around, do errands, make food, clean up food, clean up house, do laundry pay bills., play dates, make more food, clean up food, clean up house, stay up way to late at night because finally noone is asking me for anything. Except on the days I work. Then I am gone for the entire day...and he picks them up on his way home from work to do bedtime on his own-his mom always feeds them.
You get into this pattern of busy, if I get overtime I'm out of the house from 6 am to 12:30am. He often works late and picks up side work for his company so will work after work and on weekends. Right now we are in a one of those runs. When it is over he will have worked 21 days straight. He gets tired he gets cranky, more falls on me since he is not here, I get cranky. When he is cranky he is snippy, but not just average snippy, mean snippy. Then we fight. The boys notice he is gone and start to crave him, he comes in and they climb all over him, DADDY!! DADDY!!
The fact is that this man is doing every possible thing he can for this family. He works through back pain, he works days and days with no days off. It's hard to hold together a marriage, a relationship, hell, a friendship when no one has time to talk. When everyone gets resentful and feels under appreciated. When you are staring at days stretched ahead of you until when? When does this routine change? When do we have time for us to be us?
Things got strained, there was talking and crying and more talking. When your wife is sitting you down and telling you that I will be your wife I'm not going anywhere, but I want to be friends again, and if he could not be my friend than ok, I can make friends, but it was up to him. I married him because we were friends. We needed nothing more than each other to be entertained, we are more than happy to sit together in our house and hang out, watch tv, play with the kids. We live very simply.
For a while there was wondering, what if this doesnt turn around? What do I want to do? My answer surprised me, but I knew it was the right one. Even if things didn't get better, I cannot imagine my life without him. Good, bad or come what may, I need this man in my life.
Fortunately things came around, he heard me, I'm trying to correct the one thing that is super important to him, he is more present, back to the guy I married. What is amazing to me though is how quietly it all built up, how bad it got, and how talking to each other brought us right back to being us, together. I think this has put us back on the right path, but I'm paying attention to make sure.
Monday, November 2, 2009
When that moment finally arrived, I pulled out the Trio building system and set him up on our kitchen island. He was excited to play with it upon seeing it. To describe the set, it's kind of a cross between Legos and Kid Knex. Kid Knex are a hit around here as they let you build well, whatever your imagination can come up with, with lots of plastic sticks and funny shapes. This kit has the sticks and connectors mixed in with blocks of different sizes so it goes where a Lego does not. In the set we recieved we had a car that pops off of its wheels so the wheels can be built on, a few panel pieces, a roof peice, a propellor, a little man. straight and curved stick/bar peices. All of course in bright fun to look at colors. It all came in a red plastic container that holds the set, and the lid is a yellow plastic grid to use as a base to build on.
At first I gave him no instruction. He emptied it out and figured out he could build on the base pretty quickly on his own. One thing to be aware of, a new set is pretty tough to click together and take apart. When I saw him struggling to click the bricks together I stepped in and helped, thinking he just did not understand what he was supposed to do, but no, it was the amount of force needed to push them together. I am happy to report that is no longer a issue once you play with them for a while. They now click together easily and hold together just fine. So here a few pics of him playing with it.
This toy has now been in my home about two months and I can honestly report it has recieved daily play. It is always out in my living room and I have been impressed and surprised by what he has been able to put together. Everything from very tall buildings, to fences, to vehicles thanks to the the car with the removable top, and honestly what little boy doesn't love a propellor?
My younger son Ben is just 2 years old, and he plays with it just as often as his big brother does. He does not have the skills to build the creations his brother can, but he has a great time clicking things together. We have lots of kids that come and play here, in this same 2-5 age group both girls and boys, and I have also noticed that they seem to gravitate towards it. Every single one has hopped right in and had a great time with it. No child who has been in my house since we have recieved it has walked by it and not picked it up to play with.
Ok so what didn't I like? Not much to be honest. I was a little concerned with how frustrated he got when we first opened it with the blocks requiring so much force to click together. My son is likely to just chuck the whole thing aside and never look at it again if it frustrates him. In this case he kept at it and once the blocks had recieved some play they click together much more easily, but also still hold together well, so he can build BIG! We definately could use more of them though, because he runs out of bricks before he runs out of ideas, and has to stop when he isn't ready to, and start over. The lid to the container it comes in just sits on top of the box, it does not latch at all. so if the container is knocked, or pulled over they all spill out. I'm torn between wishing the lid latched in some way so they did not dump it when they are trying to move it, and being glad that they have such easy access when they want to play.
I asked my son before sitting down to write what he thought of this toy, he says that "It's awesome. I can take it out of the box and build whatever I think of. " He also said "The other blocks fall apart, but these stay, so I can.. " and then gestured big with his arms. I asked if he wanted anymore blocks like these and he said "YES!" We looked at the website and he is now asking for the constructions set and the firehouse set. He reasons that one can be for Ben and one for him. I told him Santa is coming. In all honesty, this set is such a hit that I will buy both for christmas. A toy I already know my kids love? Sold.