I'm a crappy housewife.

I am a crappy housewife. Before I was anyone's wife I was a crappy housewife, but I was too naive at the time to understand that. I thought that somehow keeping a house clean, raising kids, paying bills was something magical that just got turned on like a switch once you were a mom and wife. I was also sure I would be excellent at it. The thing is I was viewing the world through teenage-colored glasses and figured if my mom could do it I obviously could do it better.

Wow, was I wrong!

The basic fault with my plan was, well, me...while I prefer things clean and tidy, and I posses the skills needed to perform those tasks..I just don't care that much. I will clean, I do clean...but its not like a task I just dislike, its a task I HATE! As in when I do it, I run around here grumbling and complaining and making idol threats to the small people who make the majority of the mess.
Since I loathe this task as much as I do, I'm only willing to do it, saaayyy-once a day. If you read my blog-(and why would you since I don't seem to write posts anymore) you know I have two boys-who trash this place every few hours.

Don't get me wrong, there is a basic level of cleanliness, I always clean the bathroom when people come over...I have a four year old boy who goes potty by himself-I pretty much have to. Since we are a popular gathering place for friends and family, it gets done fairly often. Same goes with vaccuming the floors- since I have a huge shedding golden retriever. I do dishes at least once a day since I always have a need for dishes to eat off of and sippy cups to drink from...and laundry, well taking your kid to preschool just works better if he has clean clothes on his back. I will not pretend they are ironed...but I don't put on the ones that are really wrinkled!

My husband grew up with a supermom-she worked her 40 hours a week, kept the house pin clean, totally organized, served homemade meals with homemade desserts. every. day. Her entire life was her house and children...I am not being the least bit sarcastic when I say..that woman is better than me. My husband knew what he was getting into when he married me, we lived together for years before we were married, and lets just say how we live now is a vast improvement...but he wishes for more. He honestly expects more, but deep down he knows..he isn't ever going to get the house he grew up in. (which-funny-is the house we live in-we bought it from his parents)

I'm not willing to do that. I do what needs to be done, but I insist on having a life too. I'm done worrying about other peoples goals and expectations-particularly when I know those same people are not really ever going to be pleased. I have kids to take care of, I have a marriage to keep together and on the right path, I have a stressful job-even if I work part time, I have commitments to friends and family...if my house isn't clean I just remember that someday, these boys will be gone, things will stay where I put them, less people will track dirt through here, and dirty my bathrooms, use my dishes...until then, welcome to my chaos-help yourself to a drink, watch my tv, use my laptop, and put your feet on the hand me down-coffee table. I'm doing this my way.