Wednesday, March 4, 2009

I'm just not ready to give this up yet....

I'm having a hard time finding a balance between all things that demand my attention. It seems that when my real life gets real-when my kids are good and sick, over and over again, when big scary things happen in my family my writing just dries up. I actually find it to be something interesting about myself I never really knew or thought about. Apparently I go inward. Some of it is just too personal to write, or I cant write what others confide in me, at lately there has been a whole bunch of confiding.

But what it comes back to really, is I like my blog. I always have liked my blog, even if I have probably killed whatever readership I had by the massive break I have been on, I don't want to stop blogging. I have also been reading other blogs but just stopped commenting.

I'm going to work on having a blog-and having something worth reading up here-and tending to my life, because after all-I think this is fun, I like the outlet, I like making friends. All too often I give up on the things I like to make room for other things, and how much time does it take to write a blog post? Well, that depends on the blog post-these stream of conciousness ones are pretty easy...

So I guess I'm feeling kind of "cheaty monkey" (http://cheatymonkey.com/), I want it all and I want some balance. I want to be productive at home, I want to save money using coupons, I want to take care of my kids, I want to still be me. Have mothers always felt like this? Or did they just give up everything that made them who they are-and do "good mom" until their kids are gone?

I don't know, but my blog is part of me, so I'll keep at it. I'm hoping someone is out there reading along, but if not, it's still my place to be me. That is a good thing.

4 comments:

Mighty Morphin' Mama said...

I know just what you mean! I am the same way.
I have thought of you often and I hope you are okay. And I think women have always felt like that, but I think that many years ago it may have been easier in some ways. Roles were more defined and women had more community with other moms and support of their families. Probably that is just how it looks to us though:)

Jeankfl said...

I think MMM is right.. when moms stayed at home, they gathered in the neighborhood and helped one another, and did for/with one another.. that's pretty much missing today.. but these blogs can take SOME of the place of that.. At least we can commiserate! I'm glad you aren't leaving. I'd miss you. Just do what you can.
hugs,
Jean

Sahidy said...

keep writing, I love reading about your life :)

Marketing Mama said...

Hey I like your blog - keep it up when you have time. Sometimes I go up to a week without posting - then I go on kicks where almost every day I have something new. It shouldn't be something you feel guilty about! :)