Tuesday, September 2, 2008

bitchfest guest post

So I get to b*tch on a different blog? How awesome is that- a whole new audience to
complain to!!



My husband.



Don't get me wrong, my husband is a great guy. He was my childhood crush as far back as I can remember. I was in love with him, he knew, and was NOT
interested.



Then when I turned 20, he took notice. We've been together since.



My husband expects me to be Supermom /Superwife.



He wants me to be what his mom was.



His mom went to college when he and his brother were in grade school, worked a full time job, managed to cook/bake, and keep the house spotless every
day!



The problem with this: his mother died when he was 10. The pedestal that a person stands on when they die young is too high for any human to climb.



He expects me to be that way- and anything less is not great.



If you don't read my blog, I am a new mom to twin girls who are 9 months old.




My girls were born prematurely at 30 weeks weighing in at 3.4 and 3.10
respectively.



I was hospital bedridden for 6 weeks before their delivery. On top of that, I battled
infertility. When the natural route wasn't working for us, we decided to go through IVF. We obviously means Me since I was the one who had to have daily injections, daily blood work, an egg retrieval, a transfer etc. All he had to do was go into a little room with a cup.



Now take into consideration that I work FULL TIME.



This means, I awake at 6am, play with the girls, leave for work at 7am and only return
at 6:40pm every night! I then bathe the girls, feed them and put them to bed (of course with my husband's help)



I am a machine.

I don't really have time to process all that I have been through this year. I try to be the best mom that I can be. So yes, I don't cook during the week, and my house isn't spotless. I do sometimes wait for the girls to go to bed because I don't have patience since I feel spent from the day.



But: I do bring home the bacon, I do provide the family with medical insurance and a
401k for us. I provide our life insurance. I do a lot. I take care of my husband, daughters and my boss.



I do it all for everyone, and yet he still finds reasons to complain. He says he envisioned a different type of mother for his children. I know he says this at times and doesn't realize what it does to me. He does acknowledge all of the good I do, but it's what I don't do that also
gets pointed out?



I sat him down last week and asked him: "With all that your mother did, do you think
she was happy?" He didn't know what to say. He said that she probably wasn't. And there came his revelation.



I hope he can accept that I am not perfect. Most of all, I hope I can accept
it.


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