when you try to get a man to do a womans job..

Every night around here we have a routine, we have supper, we clean it up, we get the kids ready for bed. At bedtime, we fill a bottle with warm milk, a sippy cup with chocolate milk, and all the male people of the house go upstairs to mommy's bed. (Funny that I'm never in it)

Tonight Dave has been pretty much useless, he was trying to program a ton of numbers into his new phone, but that left me to do everything else. Luckily I didn't have to cook tonight, dinner at the in-laws! We gave them baths there, put pj's on came home and it was time, these boys needed to go to bed, but daddy wasn't really moving. I did what I always do, the thing that needs to be done. So I grabbed the kids and headed upstairs, yelling back to him, make sure you fill another bottle for Ben for later, make sure the dog has food and water, bring up Ben's medicine, and let the dog out.

I brought the kids up and got them settled, time is going by but I'm not hearing any moving around down there, I go to the top of the stairs and yell down. "Don't fall asleep on the couch!"
I hear sheepish laughter. I said "I don't hear any moving around down there!" He said "oh there is moving. " I said "Your chest going up and down and your eyes closed doesn't count!" More sheepish laughing, "I guess there isn't much moving then" I told him to either get up and come upstairs so I could do it, or get up and do it, he said he was coming up, he was tired.

That really doesn't upset me, you see, every night he takes the kids up and I have a few minutes of quiet that I desperately need while I get the bedtime stuff done. He needs it too, this is his few minutes of cuddle time with the boys, the time he can count on everyday, since he is up and gone so early. It works. I guess we all fall into a routine that works, as long as you can keep your husband from falling asleep before the kids!

I'm on the parenting page of shine!

go to this link, my article is the one about embarrasing parental moments, the box on the right!

So exciting!

http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/parenting/

fall in new england

'nuff said

baby kisses!

Ben's idea of giving a kiss:
press sweet droolly baby lips against mama's, (hard) mouth slightly open, making an "mmmmm" noise. Stay that way until mom is laughing so hard she has to pull away and wipe off slobber, repeat.

and just when I thought nothing would embarrass me...

I mean seriously, that applebees trip wasn't so much embarrassing as hugely annoying, and frustrating. I'm not the embarrass easily type, never really have been, I feel it's kind of a useless emotion, doesn't change what just happened, doesn't fix the problem. I'm practical like that.

There is always going to be an exception to any rule though, right?

I decided after I picked Will up from preschool yesterday to take advantage of the warm sunny weather and go to the playground before heading home for naptime. In October in New England if you get a nice day you are silly not to take advantage of it. I'm a veteran mom now, I know full well what being in the house all winter long means, caged animals for children and me wanting to run screaming for the hills.

So we go to the playground closest to his school, I should probably fill in here that the preschool I send him too is not in our neighborhood. Its in a nicer neighborhood, in a nicer ymca. So while the playground is packed it isn't people from the same social bracket as my husband and I. It would not be outside of the norm for the adults tending to the children to be nannies and not moms and dads. Picture painted? Ok, we can move on..

I'm chatting up the parents who are also pushing their younger children on the swing while Will plays on the large piece of equipment behind me. All is going well for the first like 15 minutes we are there, until a mom eating a salad on a bench yells, "Is that someones child!?" Yeah you guessed it, I turn around and it is my child, he is standing on the bottom platform of the equipment, and peeing into the sand in the middle of the playground. In full view of ummm everyone. I of course run to my child, explain to him that he can not pee in playgrounds, that he should come to me and tell me if he has to pee, he looks up at me with big, brown innocent eyes and says "But mom, there aren't any bathrooms here" I told him I would have found him one (or found him a nice big private tree..) and tell him not to do it again. He says "Ok mom," and then he reassured me " I don't feel pee-pee's anymore!" Yeah well no kidding kiddo, you already took care of that problem.

I did not however leave or hang my head, I went back to pushing Ben and watched some of the other parents migrate away from me, I mean obviously I have taught my child nothing, and their kid could you know catch it.

Except the only dad there, who was doing his darnedest not to laugh out loud, and said, "Well I guess he isn't shy!" As we were leaving one mom said "how old is he? I said 3 and a half. "She said "This guy is three, is that what I have to look forward too?" Then she told me she thought it was cute!

At least some people understand children.

all the good stuff you've been missing!

It's been awhile since I really wrote much of anything, and let me just say this summer, or more specifically the end of this summer into fall just kicked my ass. Everything just seemed to go into overdrive and need my attention:

-Ben went through a really demanding hold me, hold me phase, and turned one and needed the required huge party.

-Will went through a really fresh getting into shit phase and I almost had to kill him, or sell him to gypsies.

-I started picking up overtime at work which while great for the paycheck and bills makes me a blabbering, drooling, sleep deprived zombie for like the next two days, 3 hours of sleep will do that to a girl.

-My sisters marriage was ending.

-My mom almost had cancer for a week. (she doesn't, false alarm).

-My husband started working 9 hours a day, 6 day weeks. So has been no help (and unable to stay awake past dinner)

-Will started preschool (which has greatly improved his behavior around here)

It's all sort of smoothing out though, we have a nice little routine going on. In fact within the next 20 minutes I have to start getting us all dressed and out the door.

I'm sure a good blogger would have used the blog as an outlet and come up with something funny, I was just trying to get through the day in one of those mind numbing fogs.

Just for fun though, Ben has developed a nice high pitch shriek whenever he is not happy. He has a big brother and always wants to be carried. He is unhappy a lot! So after I drop Will off at preschool, I think I'll go invest in earplugs. (kidding-we have them in the basement-hubby is in construction) So pictures of my little shreiker-good thing he is cute!

Ice cream cake on your birthday rocks!

bathtime!

Why yes I am sitting in the dog bowl! Why do you ask?

The shelf we bought specifically to hold toys-now a toy itself!

No pictures please! Don't hate me because I'm beautiful!

Time for a give away!

Thanks to blogher Boston, I have some goodies to give away-apparently when you show up at the end of the day people who give away swag will be happy to give you whatever is left on their table-note to self-go late!



There are a few things I want to give away, but we are starting with something every new mom needs. Who would like to win a playtex bottle?



Playtex was very involved in blogher boston, going so far as to have conversations with blogging moms and record them to post on blogher's website, as well as their own. You can check those out here:


http://www.youtube.com/playtexbaby


Here is what everyone wants to know about these bottles:



They are BPA-free, and they are from the VentAire Advanced system. These bottles let air in through a micro-channel vent at the bottom of the bottle, reducing air mixing with the milk or formula baby is drinking. This is proven to reduce gas and colic. With a refluxy baby of my own I know how important that is.

Another nice feature is the angled bottle design. This allows for semi-upright feeding recommended by pedetricians to help reduce ear infections.

There is a removable top and bottom to easy cleaning.



I have two bottles to give away.



A wide bottle/nipple for babies switching between breast and bottle-even breastfed babies need a bottle sometimes, or more specifically moms need a break or need to work!



A standard bottle/nipple.



If you would like a chance to win either of these bottles just leave me a comment specifying which one you would like, I will do a random drawing and pick one winner for each.
If you have used these bottles feel free to leave a note in the comments about how well they work, or your experience with them!


This contest will be open until Sunday October 19th, one week from today.

blogHer boston

I was only able to make the cocktail party at the very end, since I had to work, but I am so glad I went!

I met some great woman, whose blogs I can't wait to read, and picked up free stuff that I will be giving away here!

Much more to say but at work, so I can't really give it the time it deserves, more to come!

operation spill it!

Ok everyone, I have been reading Catherine of HerBadMother's blog for a long long time now.(http://badladies.blogspot.com/) She is one of the first blogs I ever read, and still read, every post.

I don't tend to comment often, but even though this is a woman I have never met, I care about her-no not in a creepy stalker way-in a we are all mothers and woman kind of way, and I just relate to her. She is kind and intelligent, she is well spoken, and she does her best every day to be a good mother, just like we all do.

Catherine has some stuff going on, stuff that makes a person worry, and be uncomfortable and doubt themselves sometimes. Stuff that happens to woman and mothers every day of every year.

So here is what I know. There have been times in my 3 years of motherhood to two boys that I am not proud of, things that have scared me, my own thoughts or actions. Resentments about being a mother, about being always on, even while having a supportive loving husband who completely misses the point about 75% of the time.

In other words things that I don't really go around telling people because I know I am a good mother and one or two bad moments or bad judgements, or loss of perspective do not define me. What I choose to do after those moments does, the fact that I love my sons always, and care for them always, and do the right thing for them always, even when I don't want to, even when I want to be anywhere else than here.

So I think us mothers who have been there, for even a moment, who understand what it feels like to have a thought or say out loud to an infant things that should not be said. (I have personally used the f word) should share.

Be brave, tell it like it is, support another mother. If you like you can do it anonymously here (if so my email is willsmomali @ gmail .com), but I'm not looking for blog traffic, or post it on your own blog and send Catherine an email letting her know it's there.

Motherhood is the most amazing, stressful, depressing, anxiety producing job on this planet, we are all just hanging in there doing the best we can. If we can't support each other than noone can, because noone but a mother can understand it.

its kidman....

Have I ever mentioned that Will talks a lot? I mean this kid always has something to say, loudly! It's especially fun when you are trying to read, think, blog, get his brother to sleep, get him to sleep, need to go to bed yourself.

So when my husband did this this morning right before he walked out the front door into the darkness that is morning around here, (we never get up after the sun is up) ( I know you're jealous) it was funny.

Will and Dave were having a particularly rough goodby, as in rough housing.
Will had climbed onto Daves back and Dave bent down and grabbed Ben, held him in front of him and said "I am Kidman! Waving Ben a little he said "this one will spit up on you or pee on you", and indicating Will on his back, "this one will talk you to death!"

i laughed really hard, because you know he could talk you to death!