Thursday, October 2, 2008

operation spill it!

Ok everyone, I have been reading Catherine of HerBadMother's blog for a long long time now.(http://badladies.blogspot.com/) She is one of the first blogs I ever read, and still read, every post.

I don't tend to comment often, but even though this is a woman I have never met, I care about her-no not in a creepy stalker way-in a we are all mothers and woman kind of way, and I just relate to her. She is kind and intelligent, she is well spoken, and she does her best every day to be a good mother, just like we all do.

Catherine has some stuff going on, stuff that makes a person worry, and be uncomfortable and doubt themselves sometimes. Stuff that happens to woman and mothers every day of every year.

So here is what I know. There have been times in my 3 years of motherhood to two boys that I am not proud of, things that have scared me, my own thoughts or actions. Resentments about being a mother, about being always on, even while having a supportive loving husband who completely misses the point about 75% of the time.

In other words things that I don't really go around telling people because I know I am a good mother and one or two bad moments or bad judgements, or loss of perspective do not define me. What I choose to do after those moments does, the fact that I love my sons always, and care for them always, and do the right thing for them always, even when I don't want to, even when I want to be anywhere else than here.

So I think us mothers who have been there, for even a moment, who understand what it feels like to have a thought or say out loud to an infant things that should not be said. (I have personally used the f word) should share.

Be brave, tell it like it is, support another mother. If you like you can do it anonymously here (if so my email is willsmomali @ gmail .com), but I'm not looking for blog traffic, or post it on your own blog and send Catherine an email letting her know it's there.

Motherhood is the most amazing, stressful, depressing, anxiety producing job on this planet, we are all just hanging in there doing the best we can. If we can't support each other than noone can, because noone but a mother can understand it.

4 comments:

Molly said...

It's definately stressful being a mom and no mom is perfect. I'm sure I've done some things or said some things I shouldn't have.

Mom101 said...

This is really lovely, RNMom. I think if we pour back into our blog archives, we've all got those moments of necessary confession.

Hope this provides some cathartic relief.

Marketing Mama said...

Great idea! Just last night I was bickering with my husband in front of my kids. I knew it wasn't a good idea and felt badly about it. :(

Her Bad Mother said...

You are so, so, so sweet and lovely and supportive and WONDERFUL to do this. And you're just all those things anyway.

So glad that I got to meet you in Boston ;)