After thinking yesterday that maybe I will be able to attend blogher in 2010, I started thinking about my blog and the poor quality and quantity of writing here. The truth is I have been holding back here because I know that friends and family do check in here sometimes. I have learned a lot about myself in my blogging journey, it is easy to put up a cute post or video about my kids and their never ending sillyness and love of life. It is harder to write about what is really going on your head, good, bad and ugly, or maybe just a little off color!
My blog needs to grow and change as I have grown and changed, and I very much have since I started blogging, but I hesitate to say too much, to offend, to complain. Who wants to read that? What if I hurt feelings? How far am I willing to go really?
I read the liveblog-blogging as storytelling. I have stories, lots of stories, but they are heavy, and hard, and not just mine. I struggle with how much it is ok to write, but it seems to me that the bloggers I love to read, the ones I check daily, are the ones who can put it all out there, and do. I have tried to stick to safe writing, but safe is not the same as interesting or real.
I think I will take this year 7/2009-8/2010 and develop my blog into a more accurate reflection of me, not just the mommy me, but the nurse me and the bargin hunter me, and the wife me, and the woman me. We are all in here, and all these sides of me need and deserve some expressing. At some point I think most woman just go screw it, this is me, like it or not, cause I am ok with me.
Yeah, I'm there.
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2 comments:
good for you. the blogging/real life line can by fuzzy. I struggle with how much to put out there as well.
So far - only a handful of real life friends no about my blog, which makes it easier to write.
Glad we found each other on twitter!
I just found you (via jeankfl) and you underrate your writing. May I make a suggestion that has been remarkably liberating for me, and helped me write better. Establish another blog under a different name (don't link to it from here). Tell no one in your life about it. Write the 'hard' stories with total honesty as you see things and change every name and locale (making up names and places is kind of fun). Then write your butt off. This is, I find, cathartic and also really amazing in exploring your own feelings/thinking. You are right that other people should not be hurt, exposed or whatever by name. But you may find you are more 'you' when you are someone else.
I did. Chances of you being found by people named are near zero. (I find that chances being read by anyone at all aren't all that great, if no one know it is you). Keep this current blog for the family friendly stuff.
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