you never see it coming..

I'm making an effort to not post just anything for nablopomo. I'd like to dive into tougher stuff than I usually do, or at least be amusing. I'm exhausted tonight, so I'll just go for the funny.

When you work in a hospital crazy things happen, things you could not have predicted when you walked into work that day, here are a few that stand out to me!

The time I had ants in patients room, many many ants and the nursing office refused to move the patient to a clean room next door to his as it was booked, and no place else to move him so hung up on me. Then wanted him to sit in the hallway for a few hours while they de-anted his room. (I sat him in the empty room to watch tv anyway)

The time a drunk woman was admitted but wanted to leave against medical advice. I was trying to keep her from disturbing other patients and keep her in room until md arrived to sign paperwork to let her leave. She was ranting in the hallway and said she was thirsty she wanted a drink. I offered her tea, coffee, gingerale, juice, milk or water. She sneered at me and said "I want a f*cking beer!!" To which I lost my patients and said. We don't have any fucking beer this is a hospital! (to this day I maintain hey-she went there first.)

The time a confused man was really really angry with me for remodeling his house without his permission, when I tried to reorient him I pointed out the city view out of the window. He was then really really angry I had not only remodeled, but moved his house as well.

The time a confused lady had me staring at the ceiling with her while she insisted there were dishes up there.

The time I watched a man slap my friend and coworker-a fellow nurse across the face, he was confused and when he had cleared up the next day he apologized to her. She was bent over his bed adjusting something and he knocked her glasses off her face. Listen I felt bad, and it was not appropriate, but how do you not laugh-at least once you are out of the room together.

The lady who insisted she was not a patient, she had come to visit a patient and now we were confused and keeping her, the argument that she was wearing a johnny, a hospital bracelet and sitting in a hospital bed, did not convince her.

and yesterday...when something that looked a whole lot like poop-although I was told by the plumber it was not, came up out of the drains of two sinks and splashed on the walls. In my job, you never really know what you are going to get!