30 things

i have never written a hundred things post, and to be honest i have three children under 2 in this house right now (my niece is here) and i don't have time. so in honor of completing nablopomo for the first time ever here are 30 things:

1) i'm really short. i'm the shortest one in either of our families. i'm 4'11 1/2" yes that half inch counts. i thought i was 4'11 3/4" but i was corrected by a doctor. (who thought it was funny).
1a) my husband is 6ft tall, i tell him i married him to reach me things.

2)i'm a nurse-no surprise there, i wanted to be a nurse because i liked people, i have been a nurse 3 years and i'm not so sure i do anymore. but i am good at what i do.

3) i have two sons that i live for, but i might have to kill the 2 yr old, nothing personal.

4) i have two nieces and a nephew i would do anything for.

5) my nephew is two and has cystic fibrosis. that is now the only charity i give to or fund raise for.

6) i hate to capitalize when i type, it slows me down. i also write like i talk, a pile of run on sentences with no end in sight.

7) i love my house but don't love my neighborhood, we need to decide in the next two years if we want to stay and send our sons to private school ( which i have no idea how we would afford) or move to a better area.

8) i suck at paying bills, but it is still my job.

9) i despise housework, but i have to do it all cause hubby is never home, we need clean clothes, clean dishes and a clean place for the kids to play.

10) i love to stay home, i only go to work cause i have no choice. oh and to help pay for the house and benefits and stuff.

11) i used to paint, and read. but i did both late at night and now i just need to go to sleep.

12) i read fast. i can start a book and read until the book is over in one sitting, i don't even notice that time has gone by. i have managed to stay up all night reading and not even know it was 5am. yeah that was before kids.

13) i like hostess cupcakes, i'm eating one right now.

14) i love yoga, i would like to go three times a week but i feel too guilty to leave my kids that often just for me, i average once a week.

15) i have won two parent bloggers blog blast contests, once i won 100.00, once i won a pair of stride rite sneakers(which is good cause i only buy stride rite)

16) i only buy stride rite because i feel they are made by experts in childrens feet, and will therefore be more comfortable, not rub, are very well made. until my sons can tell me how their feet feel in their shoes, only stride rite. but they cost more than my shoes!

17)i am passionate about breastfeeding, that said i have had a really hard time breastfeeding my second child. i can see why people quit.

18) i avoid the news as much as possible. my family had some stuff happen to us, not of our own doing, we were on the news. we watched the news a lot while it was happening. i now cannot sit and watch what bad stuff has happened all day to people.

19) due to the above point, i am a completely uniformed registered voter, and i'm not really cool with that.

20) i'm really sick of all the toy recalls, i suspect the problem is worse than we are aware of, i don't know how in the hell to fix it and i'm not buying toys for other peoples children. now they are getting stuff like books and board games. i've bought stuff for my own kids for this christmas i hope to god is safe.

21)i have been making toys out of cardboard boxes a lot lately, it saves money, keeps my kid busy, and doesn't contain lead. so far cars and play kitchens.

22) i love to sleep, before i had kids i could sleep half the day away, now if i get up at 7am that's late!

23) i wear almost exclusively old navy clothes. they look ok to be out running errands in, they aren't that expensive so if they get ruined i don't care much, and they are in style.

24) i really enjoy crunching ice, but it drives my husband crazy. i do it anyway.

25) i think it's a good thing i'm going back to work next week, when i'm home too long i start to feel put upon, everything is my job. at work everything is still my job, but i come face to face with how tough things can really be, and then i appreciate home.

26) i blog because i have stuff to say, because i like the voyeuristic aspect, because i have come to care about people i don't even know, because i don't have time to read books, because it was free entertainment, because i want to matter. i like the feeling of thinking out loud, and darn it my kids are cute! i know i get a good amount of traffic (thanks to site meter) but almost no comments, what's up with that? i love comments!

27) i love to dance and sing, but i can't, but i still do.
i think i appreciate music more because i can't sound like that no matter how hard i try.

28) my kids and my family come first, everything else can wait.

29) i'm very easy going, i let most things just roll off my back, but if i make a big deal out something i will not back down.

30) when you come to my house, help yourself to the food, put your feet on my coffee table, use the laptop that is always out on the island, watch the huge tv in the living room, cause if you are in my house you are family.

ok so i stole this but....

this is hysterical i stole it from christina at a mommy story:
http://www.elfyourself.com/?id=9636034218

i don't know how to embed it so you'll have to follow the link.

you can see christina's here

http://amommystory.blogspot.com/2007/11/because-i-like-to-humiliate-myself.html#links

and go here to try it yourself:
http://www.elfyourself.com/

your loving and supportive wife

Go me! Yesterday was a complete and total bust as far as grocery shopping went, so this morning I had everyone dressed and ready to go by 8am hit the grocery store and got wills haircut. It seems however that while morning is the best time of day for Will, Ben who usually sleeps much of the morning did not, then he cried much of the afternoon. So go in the morning for Will or go in the afternoon for Ben, either way someone isn't going to be happy!

here is a little laugh for you:


My brother recieved this email from his wife earlier today and thought it was funny enough to share with me and my husband ( as well as half a dozen people he works with) Weston is my 2 yr old nephew, and Ella is my four year old neice

Subject: Two good reasons to clean up after yourself!

I know you believe that you are a clean person, but I will give you two good reasons to clean up after yourself...

1. Take your prints back to work with you. Weston was going at one with a pen this morning. I saved it before any real damage was done.

2. Your son just came into the library and Ella starts yelling "Weston is eating something yucky". I look over and he has a fork in his hand and some type of old food stuck to it. It took me a few min. to recognize that it was your chicken from last night still attached to the fork. That is nasty!

I am sure I will come up with more by the end of the day. Love you...clean up your dirty sh*t! Have a good day!

Your loving and supportive wife, Jenn.

I kind of think this could come from any wife chasing kids all day!

well i posted-that counts right?

ok so i've got nothing, it's been a temper tantrum, no napping, not doing any of what i plan to do couple of days. i'm tired and it's bedtime. the big news of the day is dave stopped on the way home to pick us up wendy's for dinner as well as some diapers, formula, wipes and cheese balls and ice cream. thats big news because 1) i tried to go to the store today and it just didn't happen. had the kids in the car, got as far as the bank drive thru and will was out cold in the back. he would not nap earlier so i drove home and got the neighbor teenager to watch him, but he woke up as i put him in his crib and screamed bloody murder, so i sent the teenager home, got the baby out of the car and gave up. and 2) i didn't have to go back out after supper for the things we could not live without-although i still need to go grocery shopping, and 3) didn't have to cook dinner! although my only meat choices are keilbasa, italien sausage or canned tuna.

but isn't my little guy a cutie? he has all kinds of personality now, he smiles, he coos, he gurgles. he just figured out that he can see further away so he has been checking out the house!

he also has been busy trying to find his thumb, he got it once or twice and it was adorable.

alright enough writing about nothing, goodnight!

supercalifragilisticexpialidocious

Lately Will has decided he really likes Mary Poppins, or as he asked at 6am this morning "i watch movie?" while high stepping on my bed in a two year old imitation of "step in time". Now he says "poppins movie". This was a favorite movie of mine as a child (along with the wizard of oz which he hasn't seen yet.) and it just delights me that he loves it as much as I do.

So in the spirit of this classic being rediscovered in my home a few fun facts about the movie. These were cut and pasted directly out of imdb, to give credit where it is due.

Many of the nannies in the large queue of applicants for the job at the start of the film were actually men in drag.

The film makers didn't inform Karen Dotrice(jane) or Matthew Garber (micheal) about some "surprises" that were going to show up in the movie. Karen's dumbfounded look when Mary Poppins takes out item after item from the carpet bag and her little scream when Mary Poppins gave them medicines of different colors were genuine. They also didn't tell the children who was acting as Mr. Dawes Sr., and were worried that the horrible old man was going to fall down and die at any moment.

The word "supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" seems to pre-date the movie, but language experts have yet to pin down by how much, or what, exactly, it originally meant. An urban myth is growing that it had something to do with Irish (or Scottish) prostitutes. Its use in the movie may have been inspired by a nonsense word the Sherman Brothers learned at summer camp. They remembered having a word that the adults didn't know, and thought the Banks children should have one too.

Matthew Garber(micheal) was paid 10 cents for every time they filmed the tea party scene. He was afraid of heights, so somebody offered to pay him a "bonus" 10 cents for every take

Mary Poppins and Mrs. Banks never speak to each other in the film.

Dick Van Dyke had his heart set on playing Mr. Dawes, Sr., and said they didn't have to pay him, he just really wanted to do it for the fun. Although Walt Disney had offered him the part of Bert right out, he made him audition for the part of Mr. Dawes, Sr.

In the end credit cast list, the actor playing Mr. Dawes Sr. is initiallyshown as NACKVID KEYD, then the letters unscramble themselves to showthat this is a second role played by Dick Van Dyke.

For her interaction with the animatronic robin, Julie Andrews had yards of control wires hidden under her costume and running up her sleeve.

Julie Andrews was left hanging in mid-air during one particularly long camera setup. The stagehands unwittingly lowered her wire harness rather rapidly. "Is she down yet?" called a grip. "You bloody well better believe she is!" fumed Andrews

P.L. Travers so detested this film adaptation of her novel, she left the premiere in tears. Reportedly, she most objected to the altering of Mary Poppins' character from cold and intimidating in the novel to warm and cheery in the film. She also took issue with the film's perceived anti-feminist ending, in which Mrs. Banks gives up her campaigning for women's rights to stay at home as a housewife.

The scene where Mr. Dawes, Sr. (Dick Van Dyke) has trouble negotiating the step in the bank's meeting room was not originally in the script. While viewing a make-up test for Dick Van Dyke in the projection room, Walt Disney saw Van Dyke entertaining crew members on the test film between between takes with some comic routines, among them the "stepping down" routine of an old man trying to step off a curb without hurting himself. The test film not only convinced Disney to cast Dick Van Dyke as Mr. Dawes, Sr., but Walt specifically requested that crew members "build a six-inch riser on the board room set so Dick can do that stepping-down routine".

hope you enjoyed these as much as i did!

a good sunday

today we did laundry, did dishes, cleaned the kitchen, cleaned the living room, vacuumed the downstairs, fed the kids, napped the kids, bagged 34 bags of leaves from the backyard, front yard and driveway, watched a 2 movies, baked cookies. it is now 8pm and my whole family is on my bed waiting for the football game to start. i'm personally looking forward to the kids going to sleep so i can take a shower!

i'm tired but happy we spent lots of time just us, the downstairs looks great! it will be so nice to wake up to things being picked up! this week we will put up the christmas tree.

i go back to work in a week and a half, and i have a list of things i want accomplished by then. ok i have to cuddle my two year old so he stops accidently kicking the baby!

goodnight!

nothing much

it hasn't been an overly exciting day here. nice and quiet just the way i like it, although it would have been nice if dave had been home.

he went to his sisters to do some wiring, but was able to buy some things with his birthday money that he has been wanting for a long time but didn't have the money or reason to purchase. he bought a chain saw and a backpack leaf blower. he is very happy! big boy toys!

i got a haircut this morning, then spent the day cuddling with the baby, doing laundry, doing dishes, stuff like that, it was a very slow paced day.

right now every boy in this house is asleep in his bed( including the large breadwinning one)
it's 8:30pm. don't worry they will all be up at 5am. i'm the one who doesn't fit in, i could sleep all day if they would leave me alone, and i like to be up at night-well before i had this family anyway, now i'm ready for bed somewhere between 8-10pm.

alright i'm going to eat my nightly bowl of ice cream and sleep while the sleeping is good!

thanksgiving pics

last year will loved this snowman! everytime we went to my in-laws we had to stop and push in the snowmans nose and buttons so they would pop back out and give it a high five (or many high fives) while we froze our buns off waiting for him to be done. he was upset when it was gone.

my father in law did a "ceremony" to inflate it for the season. Will loves the snowman just as much this year...ben just wanted to know what the hell was going on, as you can see in his face!

hope you all had a great day!

thanksgiving

happy thanksgiving!

we will stuff ourselves silly and let our children run wild! (well those that can run anyway)
have a great day!

girl stuff

i went shopping!!!



my mom took will for part of the day, i took ben to the mall, i got the boys great outfits for tomorrow! this one is for ben:

and this one is for will:
i bought ben little brown pants to match and will can wear kakhi pants he already has.

i also got 3 new shirts, a really cute pink hoodie, a pair of jeans and an amazing double breasted winter white sweater with a wool lining. it's super warm and cute, i couldn't find a pic of it online to post for you.

i felt like such a big girl buying myself nice clothes!

wishing everyone a wonderful thanksgiving, i'll try to post pics of my boys all dressed up tomorrow.

he gained weight!

my little piglet now weighs 10lbs. 6oz, for anyone who doesn't already know 1 week ago he was 9lbs 6oz. i'll take a pound in a week! (and that was after the huge poop explosion in the waiting room that required an entire oufit change-thank god i remembered to pack one)

also pumping is going really well i'm getting 4-5 ounces at a time! it isn't what i would get when i was breastfeeding will but it is much better than 2 if i'm lucky. so things are looking rosey around here!

alright i'm just going to post this now, if i have time later i'll write more.

its all in the math

thrush(pain)=cracked nipples(pain)+low milk supply
or in words: thrush multiplied by pain equals cracked nipples multiplied by pain and low milk supply

if my life could be reduced to an equation that would be it, followed by:
cracked nipples (pain)+ low milk supply=frequent pumping + formula supplementation

multiply all of that by toddler to the second power(cause he's two)

i'm having a really hard time nursing my second baby-for all the reasons listed above. it's extremely frustrating because i breastfed my first son until he was14 months, this guy is only two months! i have been talking to midwives and lactation consultants.. i was given four different opinions of what i should do. everything from prescription meds( reglan-not taking them yet) to herbs(taking them- fenugreek and blessed thistle) to beer(had a half a beer-didn't seem to have much effect) to fluids( must remember to drink) to pumping(every three hours after 15 minutes of heat and massage) to nipple shields to help with pain/healing of cracked nipples ( i loved them, ben flat out refuses them and gets really really upset-so not using them)

can someone please explain to me the breastfeeding order of operations? i somehow don't think 'please excuse my dear aunt sally' will work here-(mnemonic for what order to add,subtract, multiply and divide when doing algebra)

i have a plan of my own based on all the above info, no idea if it will work, but when i pump i'm only getting a total of about 2-2 1/2 ounces, so we have to supplement each feeding with some formula. tomorrow ben goes back to the pede for a weight check and immunizations-hopefully he will have gained weight in the last week. i'll keep you posted.

i must be crazy

i must have lost my mind! this weekend was daves birthday party so yesterday between prepping all the food i had to bring to my in-laws, bathing everybody and dressing them in nice clothes nothing got cleaned. then we brought more stuff home with us than we left with! the house is a disaster area and i have a money guy coming tonight at 5:30!

what truly classifies me as crazy though is that instead of cleaning the house i'm making a bigger mess cleaning out cupboards-i didn't set out to clean cupboards, i'm missing some peices to a bottle and since i only seem to have 6 of them every peice counts! i did a quick scan of the basement just now because i am sure we have more bottles somewhere, but i can't find them. i also can't spend a whole lot of time down there because the kids are up here.

we had a wonderful time at the party yesterday-dave did very well for gifts, we didn't care about the gifts but he came home with 600.00 between gift cards and cash. apparently people really like him! he isn't sure what he wants to do with it, but it's all his to do as he pleases with.
(it shouldn't be that surprising that people gave him that much when you think about it, he has worked in or on every single persons house that came to party for little or nothing, that's the kind of guy he is-he is there for his family and friends)

ok i have a ton of stuff to do, so that's it for now! maybe i'll have time later to write more, have a good day.

happy birthday to my husband

happy birthday dave! i have known you since you were 12 years old and having sleep overs with my brother. back then you were really really tall and impossibly thin, you had braces that i only vaguely remember.

i love you and i appreciate all that you do for us, for this family. i know the long hours that you work, in the heat, in the cold. i see all the nights you leave one job and go to the other to make us a little extra money. i appreciate all the time you spend talking to, holding and caring for your children. i love your sense of humor, your integrity, that you wrinkle your forehead just like your infant son.

we have been together 11 years, we have been married for 7, we have been parents for 2 1/2.
i have loved every minute of it, and i could not imagine being at this place in my life with anyone else, i firmly believe you are the only person who fit's me, my only match, noone else would understand me, make me laugh, and shoulder the responsibilty of this family with me. and you make cute kids too!

oh crap i guess that means we are adults now

today is my husbands last day of being 29. i asked him if he had thought he would be married 7 yrs and have two kids before he was 30, he groaned, rolled his eyes, and said "i don't know what i thought"

i don't know why but his 30th birthday seems to mean more to me than mine did. i guess the fact that i'm 31 didn't count as much when i had a husband in his 20's. i know that makes no sense! with both of us officially in our 30's, homeowners, parents of two children, car loans, oil bills, it just makes us seem so....grown up.

i think it's just that it sneaks up on you. you're dating, you get engaged, you get married, you have your first apartment, you buy a house, you have a kid, you have another kid. and before you know it, time has just sort of flown by, and you are the parents, the responsible adults, the people who have to make sure everything is taken care of, the kids have what they need.

in my head i sort of still think i'm 18, without the fun stuff like dating and going out dancing with my girlfriends!

it's strange i know! my husbands birthday is a transition for me, well it is really all about me anyway(he, he) tomorrow i'll write the happy birthday hubby i love you so much post, today it's all about me getting ready for his big day and his big party!

never mind!

i was going to post cute video of ben starting to coo and gurgle, but blogger wouldn't let me. i was going to the week in pictures after that-but blogger wouldn't let me! i'm sorry but i'm tired and done arguing with blogger. it's 11:30 pm, i had a wonderful quiet day with the baby. i talked to four different lactation people and got four different recommendations. i'm tired. i'm going to feed the baby and go to bed, goodnight!

another lame post

ok so again, it's late and my entire family is asleep and i want to be! we had a visit this morning with one of wills friends-it's so cute to watch him play with a kid his own age! this afternoon i got cracking on the breastfeeding problems, and tomorrow i will be alone with just Ben all day, so i intended to spend lots of time lazing around, so tomorrow i will write a too-much-info post for all who want the details.

also-discovered pandora radio today-it rocks! ok baby crying, goodnight!

just a post

just a quick post because my family is asleep and i want to be too! we had a nice slow around the house kind of day followed by dinner at my in-laws. i have a whole big breastfeeding post planned for tomorrow, so come back and maybe there will be something well thought out to read, or not!

just glad today is over!

today was a rough day, Ben had a two month check up, the pede said he hadn 't gained enough weight. i know that is because of the thrush situation-too much detail to post here, but the short version is due to pain i had been nursing sometimes, pumping sometimes and formula sometimes, apparently he needs to eat more. i think i have the situation under control though, we go back for a weight check in one week-now he is 9lbs 6 oz.

i noticed a spot on the white of his left eye this weekend. it didn't change or get better or worse and it wasn't bothering him, so i waited for the apt today. well the pede referred us to an opthamologist who could see us now. leave the pede, fill the car with gas, grab Will lunch through the drive through, head to the nearest big city, (about 30 mins with traffic) find the building, park in parking garage, carry my no-nap toddler while pushing my infant, wait FOREVER, but be thankful the guy agreed to fit us in. he thinks the spot on the eye is inflammed-(no kidding) but the eye itself is fine, gave us some drops and sent us home. so an 11:30 am pede trip turned into a full day, driving home in end of the day traffic, we got home a few minutes to 5pm.

Will was amazing-he was sooo tired, but behaved so well the whole time. i was so impressed i gave him one of his christmas presents early for doing such a good job. i am sure though that tomorrow he will be whiny-you can only push him so far!

i decided to go to yoga but just could not shake this day, my body just would not do what i wanted, i didn't get the emotional lift i usually do, i ended up leaving kind of defeated. i came home and talked to dave and he was wonderful, so supportive. that's what i love about this guy, when the chips are down he is always there for me.

so this week its mission fatten up the baby, i won't even get into the guilt involved in being told you aren't feeding your kid enough! alright it's late and said baby needs cuddling. goodnight.

my most recent google hits

sometimes i like to see how people are finding me...so according to site meter this are my most recent google hits:

breastfeeding my husband experience
-umm ewww and i don't want to know

candyland table recall
-very timely, can see how that got you here

rnmom
-yup thats me!

breast feeding big boys
lord i just hope that means an older baby-if not see above

fake boobs breast feeding
-i think you can, but there might be complications

breastfeed only twice a day
-i think this was about weaning

so apparently breastfeeding is a hot button issue and lots of people have questions, or ummm, are experimenting with their sexuality, or have curious spouses, whatever!

hee, hee, i knew he was funny...

We went to do a quick grocery shopping today and I bought this:

once I got it home and opened it my husband says" it looks like a naughty toy,

you would have to be a really dirty girl to need that!"

all i wanted was a new bottle brush!

our bedtime routine

At bedtime each night we tell Will that it's time to go rockies-that means rock in the glider rocker with mom or dad before bed. Each night he stalls a little, tells us he doesn't want to go bed, he wants to "pay toyz"-or play with his toys in english. We tell him it's bedtime and give him the choice as to who will rock him tonight-every night he picks mommy, unless i'm physically not here. Sometimes he brings toys to bed with him-always trucks.



We go upstairs with his sippy of milk, his binky(yup still got one), and his blue blanket that we have three of. We get in the rocker and he cuddles-sometimes we sing silly songs, sometimes we have a tickle fight, sometimes he tries to pick my nose while I yell no!, no!, no! in silly voices, sometimes we just rock. We usually talk about his day, or who loves him. Lately we have been singing this old man, frere jacque, and now itsy bitsy spider but sung this way:



Will and Ben and Mommy and Daddy went up the water spout, down came the rain and washed us all out (giggle from Will here), up came the sun and dried up all the rain and Will and Ben and Mommy and Daddy went up the spout again!



now sing that 5 or 6 times!



I put the blanket over my shoulder and he either puts his head on it on my shoulder or lays on his back and puts it over his face, he pulls his ear while we rock.



once he is sleepy i put him in his crib, one blue blanket we use to cover him, one i lay beside him so he can rub it with his hand while he falls asleep. i tell him "i love you, love you" I started saying that when he was a little baby because one I love you didn't seem like enough. when I leave and close the door I say "na-night baby" and he says "see you soon" i giggle and close his door.



next we feed and change Ben, get him settled and maybe go to bed ourselves after a bowl of ice cream!

or we end the night like this:

mostly just confused

When the first major recall happened I dutifully went online and checked each toy, then I thought it was over, and isolated incident. But more recalls keep coming, making me wonder how much lead is in my house that just didn't get tested? With all the lead related recalls-never mind the ghb recall ( I knew something was just wrong about plastic dots that held together with water) -it makes it hard to know what to let your kids play with.

Just about every store I shop in (for toys) is a big box store, target, walmart, toys-r-us, job lot-you see where this is going I'm sure. While we don't tend to buy much by way of character toys like sesame st or diego or thomas, we have bought a few things and we have been given toys as gifts. With each recall I went to the appropriate web sites and checked each toy involved. I have had several of the toys pictured but because our toys were bought before the specified time frame they are said to not be involved.

Lately when anyone has given a toy to our children it is either accompanied by-"I checked it wasn't made in China so no lead" or "I don't think it has lead." It surprised me when I heard it the first time, but it makes sense that people who like your children enough to give them a gift don't want it to be poisonous. It has also made me take a second look at what I give to other children.

It's hard to know what to let your child play with anymore. You can continue to buy the toys you would have bought-because that is what your child likes-and hope for the best, or you can buy only toys made from safe places like this:
http://www.coolmompicks.com/safertoy07/

But to be honest I haven't even looked, I have a two year old and a newborn and only so much computer time. I guess my approach is I will buy things I know my children will like that are developmentally appropriate-try to make smart choices and hope for the best. At this point Will's christmas shopping is done-I love amazon! The baby will only be about 4 months, so what does he need? I think I'm going to get him one of those free standing jumper things.

So here is what Will is getting this year:
Melissa and Doug 40 piece Basic Cardboard Blocks-and the 24 piece set as well
Melissa and Doug deluxe wooden sandwich making set
Melissa and Doug cutting food box
a toy microwave with a few pieces of plastic food
a set of play pots and pans and place settings
a box of three monster trucks
table mate children's activity table and chair
candyland
chutes and ladders
don't spill the beans

And he is done! I thought about getting him a play kitchen because he loves to pretend to cook, but I don't really have room for any large toys, and the one he fell in love with was 250.00. So I made one out of cardboard boxes (due to our diaper and wipe habit) and he is thrilled with it! It was free and probably no lead!

What is a parent to do? It's not like I have time to be the toy police, but I don't want to be negligent and let my children be exposed to harmful chemicals. I will take a second look at the gifts our kids get this year, and I wonder about some of things I purchased (that microwave was only 10.00-does cheap=lead?) Mostly I'm just confused and with each passing week it seems this is becoming a much bigger issue than I ever imagined!

this was written as part of the blog blast-get the lead out-for the parent bloggers network, and consumers union-you can see them here:
http:// blog.parentbloggers.com
http://www.consumersunion.org/SafeShopper

The consumers union is looking for 30,000 parents to volunteer by 11/14 to be Safe Shoppers and let their local stores know that they are tired of the recalls. Sounds like it's worth it to me!

thanks ralph!

the day starts with a baby going off like an alarm clock next to me, i sit up groggy, lately with a headache as well, pick him up and feed him while i hope his brother did not hear him crying.
i look at the clock it usually says 4am with some minutes. my husbands alarm will go off within the hour. by then i can see my two year old stirring on the video baby moniter, soon he will be up for the day. by the time i have the baby settled back down will is up, calling for me. daddy goes to get him and plops him in our bed, then dave goes to get him his cup of chocolate milk while i put him under the covers and put on his favorite morning tv, i look out the window over my baby in his cradle and i see how dark it still is outside, but in my house the day has begun....
it's 5:15 am.

every day i get up with good intentions, today i will clean the house, i will pay bills, the kids will have baths....more importantly i will spend time playing with will, i will not lose my patience with him, i will spend time cuddling and talking to ben, i will not put him down too much.
i want to get through this day without feeling defeated, without feeling burnt out and used up. i want to appreciate my children and this time we have together.

some days go well, some days the baby doesn't cry all afternoon, my son actually eats his lunch, takes his nap without a fight, some days i find the time to sit down on the floor and play with my funny smart little boy, we laugh, i watch how happy and well behaved he is when he is getting the attention he craves.

other days don't go well and by the end of the day i feel like a raw nerve, i hear myself getting short with my son, i get irritated with the baby when nothing seems to make him happy, i just want the day to end so i can breathe, so i can sleep, so i can shower. on these days i am so disappointed in myself, these kids don't deserve a cranky tired disconnected mama. why did will push so many boundries, why did the baby cry so much? did he not get enough sleep? is his reflux acting up? what could i have done differently to make this day better? am i enough? did i miss anything?

i went grocery shopping yesterday and bought some celestial seasonings chai (honey vanilla white tea-delicious by the way!) i only mention the brand because they decorate their boxes so nicely. last night when i was making a cup for myself i was looking at the box and found this written on the front:

each day
"finish every day and be done with it. you have done what you could: some blunders and absurdities crept in-forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You will begin it well and serenely, and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old mistakes and nonsense."-ralph waldo emerson

i think the universe is giving me a little reassurance, and those few words are like a balm for my soul, that i am enough, i will be enough....

or more simply as anne of green gables once said-tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it.

todays agenda

gonna be a busy day! i have a 10am doctors appt that i have to drag the kids too, we really need groceries, i have to pay bills, the house is a mess yet again(how is it always a mess, shouldn't i get a shelf life on 'cleaned the house today')-honestly the bigger isssue is we don't pick up after ourselves-and by bedtime i'm too damn tired to care if it's messy, so every morning i wake up to chaos. we also have the weekly dinner at the in-laws tonight. i'll try to get back and write something interesting later!

probably not worth reading, but it's a post!

just a quick post before bed-loooonnnggg day of child care followed by a yoga class that rocked, i've been up since 4 am, it's 10pm and i'm cooked, must have sleep, tomorrow i'll try to write something worth reading, but isn't that a great pic of dave and will? goodnight!

my thoughts today

is it really only 8pm? i swear it should be midnight by now! it has been a very long day of not getting stuff done due to a very cranky infant, and a very patient 2 year old who just wanted me to play with him. here's hoping tomorrow is better!

i think the babies reflux is acting up again, and i think it took me far too long to figure that out, lots of crying that just doesn't make sense, dave (hubby) suggested maybe he needs his zantac three times a day instead of two and i'm sure he's right.

so what is on my mind tonight is the need to escape, after a long day of child care it is amazing what a nice long shower or two hours to go to yoga can do. poor dave worked all day (construction) picked up dinner on the way home cause we need groceries and i would not have been able to cook anyway, wolfed down his kfc, put on clean clothes went to a wake with his parents for a neighbor, finally gets back home at 7pm and i ran for the shower! i have been begrudgingly allowing him to go bowling with is dad once a week, it's the only thing he does for himself for fun. problem solved, now i drop the kiddies off to my mother in law for an hour or two until daddy is done bowling and he brings them home while i stretch my extremely cramped body from breastfeeding and toddler lifting! i come home a new woman! i think i'll go to yogs tomorrow too, but i haven't told dave yet! :)

i'm making my son a kitchen out of cardboard boxes...mostly because he fell in love with one at the toy store that was way too expensive and way to big. i don't know where this creative streak came from but i'm going with it, it's saving me money, and more importantly i enjoy it.

if i could find time to work on it...

nablo-day 4

i had a cute post-i hit the wrong button, it's gone now, that really sucks!
we had a wonderful day with just us, we watched movies, we watched football, we went out for brunch, we went to the toy store and bought a geo-trax train set, we spent the afternoon on the floor playing trains, we cooked supper. it was heaven and lord knows when we will get another day like today.

since i lost my first post i wasted time, i have to go and get the baby settled because as Will told us- "he cry, cry, cry all night" i thought Ben might be bothering Will and i guess now i know!

goodnight!

nablopomo-day 3- posting cause i still have electricity!

just a quick post so i get something up today! we are getting a nor'easter-which means a big old storm is gonna hit our area today. there is talk of power outages due to very high winds (they say 60 miles an hour)

dave took Will to his parents to help them with some stuff around their house, i have a long list of stuff i want to catch up on and only one kid! now just say a little prayer for me that he takes some good naps, off to dishes and laundry in case we do loose power, have a nice day!

this mommy's prayer

please give me the strength not to kill my two year old when he is fresh, runs away, touches things i just told him not too, throws things i just told him not too, refuses to eat, refuses to just lay down and take his nap, messes with his infant brother, throws water all over my bathroom so it leaks through my dining room ceiling, refuses to sit nicely in time out, sticks his tongue out at me when he doesn't like what i am telling him....

kudos on making him so darn cute though, those big brown eyes, huge eyelashes, curly brown hair and dimples go a long way to keeping him alive...

please let the baby sleep well tonight,( it goes a long way to making it through the day without killing the aforementioned child.)

please grant me the wisdom to understand why if one boy cries the other boy cries, and why this must happen when i'm trying to cook supper, or clean, or go to the bathroom, or eat...

please grant my husband the wisdom to not tell me that i get to" stay home all day and he has to go to work"-especially when he runs out of patience long before i do when he does spend a day at home with us, and has yet to watch both of his children alone yet.

thank you for sugar and caffeine, good job on that one, pretty sure you had mom's in mind when you came up with them.

thank you for allowing me to discover what it is like to not take care of children for a whole hour, and rediscover how much i enjoy yoga, and a new appreciation for exercise and movement, and time to just breath.

thank you for gifting me two healthy boys, and this amazing time in my life, which despite how tired i may be, i cherish. i live for them, and i would be incomplete without them. thank you as well for a husband who is willing to work himself to the bone, who loves his boys as i do, who devotes himself to this family and our needs-even if he says some bonehead things.

nablopomo day 1-halloween edition

so last year i attempted this and failed just short of my goal-why i think it'll work with two kids i'm not sure-as i stand and type this my son is punching my butt-for example. (not being bad by the way like he's doing karate.)

we were up at 2am and then sort of just dozed between hourly feedings...don't you want my life? and since i made Will's costume yesterday morning i didn't clean, it looks like a hurricane hit the inside of my house oh and i may be having company very shortly-if everyones colds are better.

so on to the important stuff the amazing costume i made my son, i'm really proud of it!

adorable no? it's amazing what you can do with an ll bean coat, kahki pants, duct tape, electrical tape, a pool noodle and some velcro! the hat we had-i'm not that good!

here's a few more pics-my beautiful baby-i didn't make this costume

and i made oxygen tanks!

hope you all had a good halloween!